For those of you ‘further on’ this blog entry from Rebecca Goss touchingly encapsulates the imperceptible shifts of grief that bereaved parents feel and the elasticity of time when we think about our lost sons and daughters.
5th August 2008 – 2018
Ten years is too long, a fear that to others she may be fading
Ten years is her imagined height, and length of hair; the clothes she would be wearing this summer
Ten years is as an overwhelming bout of crying, when returning to the hospital to plant a flower
Ten years is like digging in the ground
Ten years is driving away from a commemorative rose and fretting it will die
Ten years is sometimes not thinking about her
Ten years is understanding that
Ten years is the time it’s taken to include her when asked how many children I have
Ten years is not a shameful secret
Ten years is her first sleep suit still under my pillow
Ten years is two books, a baby, a new house, another dog
Ten years is not feeling her let go of my hand or take hold of it again
Ten years is tomorrow
Many of our members may know of the Rebecca Goss book ‘Her Birth’ from our SLOW library and many more have bought copies for themselves.
It’s a beautifully moving collection of poems about her daughter Ella who died at 18 months that has really resonated with our members. The book won, and was shortlisted for, many literary prizes and you can read a review of it here.
At our SLOW groups in both Islington and Streatham Hill we provide a library of bereavement books that members are free to borrow. Our groups are available for bereaved parents at any time after the death of their child. For more information on our forthcoming groups click here.