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Articles and resources

We’ve gathered below a list of articles, programmes and blogs which may be helpful to anyone who has lost a child or a sibling, or anyone trying to support a bereaved parent or sibling to cope with life after their loss.

Articles by SLOW

My daughter died when she was seven. I still get waves of terrible grief today

Tim Whitworth’s article, published in The Telegraph, about the loss of Naomi and his experience of managing to continue through the grief.

He also writes about how he found help from Helen and Douglas House and started a support group for bereaved dads.

When your child dies your world is changed forever

An article written by Slow founder, Nic Whitworth and Susie Hanson offering support for bereaved parents, for the Tufnell Park Parents Group.

It's like being a member of a club that I didn't want to join

An article by Kerry Davies BA MA PhD, Tim Whitworth PgDIP & Marie Murray 

‘It’s like being a member of a club I didn’t want to join’: Reflections on a support group for bereaved dads explores dads’ experiences of grief and the impact of groups specifically set up to support them. 

Learning to live with grief

The more you love, the more you hurt... grief changes you

The silence surrounding parental bereavement is the subject of a thoughtful film A love that never dies.  When film makers Jane Harris and Jimmy Edmonds lost their son Josh (22) , their way through it was to make a film that shines a spotlight on parental bereavement. More details here.

 

Actor Rob Delaney talks to Russell Howard about grief and his beautiful son Henry

Rob Delaney was interviewed by Russell Howard about his grief, returning to work and his beautiful memories of Henry as he approaches his one-year anniversary.

Jason Watkins: 'After the death of a child, work has more purpose'

In this article from the Telegraph published in 2015 Jason discusses returning to work and parenting after his daugter’s death.

The Language of Bereavement and Grief

Writer Michael Rosen explores the language of bereavement and grief on BBC Radio 4’s Word of Mouth as he talks to psychologists, teachers, hospice workers and children’s charities, and visits a Death Cafe.

Loving my child, after his death

A moving article in nytimes.com by Nora Wongthe executive director of the Norse Institute. She writes about carrying on after the death of her 22-year-old son Daniel and how she continues to love him and carry him with her through life.

How Jason Watkins learnt to live after the death of his tiny daughter from sepsis

An interview from April 2018 with our patron, Jason Watkins talking about life after the death of his daughter Maude.

Falling pregnant after the death of my son saved me from grief.

Blogger Elena Davies talks about the experience pregnancy and motherhood after the death of her son.

A Mother’s Chorus: Grieving a Child on Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day can be particularly painful for bereaved mothers. ‘What’s Your Grief?’ article offering collective wisdom from bereaved mothers who understand the loss of a child.

Guardian Interview: Jayson Greene: ‘Trauma is a rip in your understanding of the universe’

Interview with Jayson Greene in the Guardian author of Once More We Saw Stars published on 16 May 2019 by Hodder & Stoughton. The book is a memoir about life and grief after the loss of his young daughter in a freak accident in 2015.

When feeling ok feels wrong

Another amazing ‘What’s your grief?’ article talks about how grief and the continuing relationship with your child evolves over time.

What it Means to ‘Change Your Relationship With Grief’

An article from What’s Your Grief  on the how everyone’s experience of grief is unique and how your relationship with it changes over time.

The Death of a Child. The Grief of the Parents: A Lifetime Journey

A document developed by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Health Resources and Services Administration, Maternal and Child Health Bureau with the National Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)/Infant Death Resource Center discussing how parents address and live with grief.

Physical and Psychological Effects of Grief

 

What the Death of a Child Does to Parents, Psychologically and Biologically

This article explores the neurological and biological changes, as well as the depression and destabilisation of the family, that may be experienced by those who are left behind after a child dies.

How does grief cause physical pain?

Words like “heartache”, “hurt” and “pain” are often used to describe emotional trauma. But people affected by grief often say they experience them as concrete physical sensations. An article b

When Grief Gets Physical: dealing with physical grief symptoms

Article from What’s Your Grief in July 2018 on the physical symptoms of grief, such as fatigue, forgetfulness, lack of focus and headaches, and how do deal with them. 

How others deal with bereaved parents

SLOW member Rob Delaney talks to Russell Howard about grief and his beautiful son Henry

The lovely Rob Delaney was interviewed by Russell Howard about his grief and his beautiful memories of Henry as he approaches his one-year anniversary.

Rob talks about how bereavement groups can support parents that have lost a child and about how to talk to bereaved parents.

What do you say to a friend who's lost a child? I should know by now.

“A parent who has lost a child has already endured the worst – nothing you can say would make it worse.” 

Hadley Freeman with some advice on what to say, and not say, to your friend who is coping with grief.

What should you say to someone who's lost their adult child?

Jane Wessman, whose son Billy died when he was aged 44, talks on Woman’s hour about how you can support a mother when her adult child dies. 

Friends who cross the road to avoid you because you’ve lost a child

Christine Lord’s  son Andrew, died from Variant CJD ten years ago at age 24.

She talks here about how society struggles to confront the reality of parental loss. 

Siblings

SLOWsibs

SLOW supports children and young people after the death of their brother or sister through our SLOWsibs groups.

Siblings & Grief: 10 Things Everyone Should Know

An article by Dr. Christina Hibbert on the profound impact of sibling loss, based on the personal experience of losing two sisters, and what people should be aware of regarding sibling grief. Dr. Christina Hibbert is the author of This Is How We GrowWho Am I Without You, and 8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise.

A Part of You Will Be Forever Lost After Losing a Sibling

A thoughtful article on surviving grief after the death of a sibling and how to carry on as ‘the surviving child’. 

George Shelley: 'The lights went out when I lost my sister'

In this BBC article, first published on 24 September 2018, the singer-songwriter opens up about how he coped with the death of his sister Harriet in a new BBC Three documentary

A moment that changed me - the death of my sister and the grief that followed

A moving account my Emma Dawson about the grief she experienced following the death of her younger sister, Lucy, from cancer at the age of 32. 

Parenting after the death of  a child

Talking to Kids About Death and Grief: 10 Comprehensive Tips

There is no script when it comes to talking to your children – each child and every situation is unique. Here is a thoughtful  article from What’s Your Grief with some considerations and tips on how to how to approach these important conversations with your kids

How To Talk To Children About Miscarriage and Stillbirth

A very helpful and sensitive article from What’s Your Grief on how to discuss miscarriage and stillbirth with your children.

Couples and grief

How to salvage a marriage after the loss of a child

An article from July 2018 discussing how men and women differ in their experience of grief and how husbands and wives can work through their pain together.

Tragically, I know the impact losing a child has on your marriage all too well

Father, Ben Pullen, talks about the different paths that he and his wife, Sarah, took in their grief following the death of their 11 year old son, Silas.

A Mighty Boy – A mother’s journey through grief by Sarah Pullen is now available.

The Hard Truth About Staying Married After Losing a Child

An article by Heather Spohr, writer and editor and blogger at The Spohrs Are Multiplying, on how the loss of a child can devastate a marriage.
Heather is the President and Co-Founder of Friends Of Maddie, a charitable organization that supports families after the death of a child.

Child Bearing Loss

I am a mother without a baby

In the UK, an average of nine babies a day are stillborn.

BBC journalist Fiona Crack became pregnant with a baby girl, but her waters broke early and her daughter died.

This is her story of a year of grief and healing and of five extraordinary women who shared her experience.

People Called Me 'Cruel' For Smiling As I Held My Dying Newborn

A personal account by Stacey Skrysak whose first born triplet, delivered at 22 weeks, died in her arms.

You can also find Stacey’s blog here where she writes about infertility, premature birth and child loss.

My baby died. Please ask me his name

In this article Elle Wright, author of Ask Me His Name: Learning to Live and Laugh Again After the Loss of My Baby, talks about coping with life after the death of her son Teddy at three days old in 2016.

You can also hear Elle talking about her experience on Woman’s Hour (28.55)

Elle also writes a blog about learning to navigate life after loss.

Practical Advice

New law to support families who suffer the loss of a child – what you need to know

The details of a new law giving paid leave to workers suffering the loss of a child have been set out by the Government.

The Parental Bereavement (Pay and Leave) Act, expected to come into force in 2020, entitles bereaved employees two weeks’ leave and statutory pay.

It will also give the same rights to those who suffer a stillbirth from 24 weeks of pregnancy.

 

Child burial fees waived: What is the Children's Funeral Fund

A Children’s Funeral Fund has been established in England after Theresa May announced child burial fees were to be waived.

Families grieving the loss of a child through death or stillbirth are to be given up to £2,000 to help cover funeral costs, under a new government scheme. 

For the full government guidelines read more here.

Other bereavement charities and organisations

At SLOW we recognise that some bereaved families may require additional support so we’ve put together a list of  links to other UK bereavement charities and organisations

SLOW offers Support for Bereaved Parents and Siblings in London

Find out more about what we do and how we can help and support you after the devastating loss of your child. Get support