Eleven years on, the dates don’t get any easier, but memories of Danny Gill’s fifteen year old son Kian only grow brighter. This Father’s Day, we share Danny’s writing about Kian, what he loved, and the impact he still has on the loving family he left behind.

“His memory will never fade; in our hearts he will always be Special K. We had 15 wonderful years together.”

A Day That Changed Everything

Losing a child is the worst thing that can happen to any parent, and our lives have been shattered since the evening of Friday May 15th 2015 when Kian was knocked off his bicycle by a speeding motorist.

The driver showed no remorse in court, the accident taking place on a poorly council maintained national cycle route at the junction of Bonehams Lane near Gilmorton (East Midlands).

On this day, Kian’s Mum, Siân and I were in South Africa working on our annual Soccer-Literacy project. We were with our team from Lutterworth High School, where Siân was a teacher and I was a governor, helping children who really need it. Kian and our eldest son, Carter, were being looked after by grandparents.

Siân’s mum had to make the toughest call of her life that evening to tell us that we had lost Kian. The next few days were very traumatic, as we struggled to get flights home and to take in the heart-wrenching news.

He touched the hearts of everyone who met him.

Kian’s funeral was held on the 30th May 2015. We were overwhelmed with the outpouring of grief from Kian’s friends and our wonderful Lutterworth community. The reactions from everyone made us realise that Kian was not just ours; he touched the hearts of everyone who met him.

Who Kian Was

Kian was a popular boy. He was kind, caring and extremely loving. It is comforting to know that all of the attributes we knew and loved touched others too. His friends talk of his compassion, his happy outlook, and his zest for life. He loved to banter with them, and to play football, both in the park and on a Sunday with his mates at Kibworth and Smeeton FC. His first football club, Gilmorton FC, have reformed in his honour, and all players have his name on their shirts, which is a lovely gesture and tribute.

Kian’s network spread far and wide. He could talk to anyone, and he charmed many a friend’s parents with his impeccable manners and his outgoing personality.

Like any fifteen year old, he lived on social media, and spent many hours on his Xbox killing zombies. He also loved playing Fifa with his older brother Carter, and there was many a commotion when he beat him and got chased around the house – usually ending up with Carter locking him outside!

Kian was passionate about his music and he liked all genres, listening to anything from ELO to Kasabian, to his favourite new band Circa Waves who dedicated a Birmingham gig to him, knowing how much he loved them!

Football Runs in the Family

Football has always been part of our family and I have lots of wonderful memories of watching the World Cup with my boys. My son Carter is hosting a World Cup Fan Zone in Brick Lane, London and Kian is never far from our thoughts wherever the footy is on!

Special K

Kian was tagged as Special K not long after he was born, and with this addition our family was complete.

It was a joy to see two brothers growing up side by side, and we did everything together.

We ate with each other every day. This time, where we would share our day’s stories and discuss what we were doing next, was so precious.

We have strong family values, and we taught our boys right from wrong whilst encouraging them to have minds of their own, our view being that as parents it was our responsibility to raise future fathers and husbands.

I recall Kian’s sharp wit and sense of humour, or banter as he called it, and also how tactile he was; he was never too embarrassed to give his mum a cuddle or to get me in a headlock!

When we are ready, we will take Kian’s ashes and scatter them in the sea from a place called La Gardenia overlooking Mahon Harbour. Kian will never be forgotten.

Kian’s Lane

The lane where Kian died has become a focal point for his friends, and they constantly visit to have a moment, leave a token of their love for him, or to light a candle. It gives them comfort.

The Lutterworth community constantly amazes us. The support and love they give us is very humbling, and it makes us so proud of Kian. We never knew that there would be this scale of love for him; in some way it gives us the strength to carry on and to ensure that Kian’s legacy lives on.

Thank You

I want to thank our friends and family near and far for just being there, and for carrying us and guiding us, for keeping us close and for making their own sacrifices to ensure that we get through each day. Without you I’m not sure that we would be here today.

Carter’s last memories of Kian

Our inspiration and reason for living is our son Carter. Carter’s last memories of Kian are playing FIFA with him the night before, and making plans to have friends round whilst mum and dad were away doing their charity work in South Africa. Not all brothers are close but they were; Kian looked up to Carter and he was proud to have a cool older brother.

Carter is 28 now but wise beyond his years. He had to answer the door when the police arrived, and his inspiring strength since this moment, and the love and support he has constantly given us, has ensured that we get up each and every day.

We are looking forward to seeing him realising his ambitions and having a great life. He has gained his first class degree at University in Leeds and is now pursuing his dreams living in Whitechapel and taking every opportunity thrown at him. He’s a hard working entrepreneur and enjoying the London life. We love spending time with him and his wonderful friends when we visit. We are so proud of him.

Father’s Day – a Day to Be Kind to Myself

After eleven years without Kian, Father’s Day still doesn’t get any easier. I’ve learned it’s a day to be kind to myself and to be grateful for the fifteen years we had. I also appreciate how resilient and caring Carter is, he always knows how tough a day this is and acknowledges it in his own special way.

No Regrets

We know we will never get over losing our Special K. We also know we have no regrets.

We did everything as a family, and we know that we gave both of our boys a wonderful childhood, a childhood where they didn’t want for anything. Our boys felt loved, secure and supported in everything they wanted to do.

Kian Died Doing Something He Loved

Kian died doing something he loved: cycling to play football and have a laugh with his mates in Gilmorton.

He was a wonderful lad, always happy, always the life and soul of any gathering. He loved life and he was so special. He was destined for a great future and we are devastated by our loss.

Eleven long years have passed now and we have set up a charity named Fifteen Forever supporting local children who need our support the most.

His memory will never fade; in our hearts he will always be Special K. We had 15 wonderful years together.

Kian, you’ll always be fifteen forever…..

Love Love Love

Dad xxxx

by Danny Gill