Since the death of Naomi Grace 13 years ago, I’ve read a lot of the grief literature and heard lots about ‘letting go’.

I’ve come to learn that ‘holding on’ and ‘letting go’ is not a goal to strive for, not an aim for grieving to ‘resolve’ or ‘gain closure’.

Letting go and holding on is simply a dynamic flux, a relationship of loving and grieving.  As natural as breathing in and out.

The thought of ‘letting go’ of our child is abhorrent to bereaved parents. So, for me it’s about holding on closely to what needs to be held onto and at the same time loosening the grip of fear, to breathe in the love that brings her more fully into my heart. I now accept this is the life-long rhythm of grief and love.

Nicola Whitworth

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