Articles and resources
We’ve gathered below a list of articles, programmes and blogs which may be helpful to anyone who has lost a child or a sibling, or anyone trying to support a bereaved family to cope with life after their loss.
Articles by SLOW
When your child dies your world is changed forever
An article written by Slow founder, Nic Whitworth and Susie Hanson offering support for bereaved parents, for the Tufnell Park Parents Group.
It's like being a member of a club that I didn't want to join
An article by Kerry Davies BA MA PhD, Tim Whitworth PgDIP & Marie Murray
‘It’s like being a member of a club I didn’t want to join’: Reflections on a support group for bereaved dads explores dads’ experiences of grief and the impact of groups specifically set up to support them.
My daughter died when she was seven. I still get waves of terrible grief today
Tim Whitworth’s article, published in The Telegraph, about the loss of Naomi and his experience of managing to continue through the grief.
He also writes about how he found help from Helen and Douglas House and started a support group for bereaved dads.
Losing a child and learning to live with grief
The grief does not go away. How I live with the loss of my adult son
The tragic death of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s son brought back painful memories for psychologist Linda Blair. Read the article in The Times where she describes her own experience.
‘We keep him close, always’: how I survived the loss of my teenage son
Seven years ago Thomas Harding’s 14-year-old son, Kadian, was killed in a road accident.
In this article he reflects on the advice he would have given himself back then.
The more you love, the more you hurt... grief changes you
The silence surrounding parental bereavement is the subject of a thoughtful film A love that never dies. When film makers Jane Harris and Jimmy Edmonds lost their son Josh (22) , their way through it was to make a film that shines a spotlight on parental bereavement. More details here.
Actor Rob Delaney talks to Russell Howard about grief and his beautiful son Henry
Rob Delaney was interviewed by Russell Howard about his grief, returning to work and his beautiful memories of Henry as he approaches his one-year anniversary.
Jason Watkins: 'After the death of a child, work has more purpose'
In this article from the Telegraph published in 2015 Jason discusses returning to work and parenting after his daughter’s death.
The Language of Bereavement and Grief
Writer Michael Rosen explores the language of bereavement and grief on BBC Radio 4’s Word of Mouth as he talks to psychologists, teachers, hospice workers and children’s charities, and visits a Death Cafe.
A Mother’s Chorus: Grieving a Child on Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day can be particularly painful for bereaved mothers. ‘What’s Your Grief?’ article offering collective wisdom from bereaved mothers who understand the loss of a child.
Merope Mills on the tragic mistakes that led to her daughter's death
SLOW member, Merope Mills speaks of the “blind faith” she had in doctors and learned too late how to save her child life.
The indescribable agony of having to bury your adult child
Jeannette Kuffermann, who has written a book on grief, was utterly floored by her primal suffering when she lost her beloved 57-year-old son.
Read Jeannette’s article in the Mail Online.
What I learned after losing my teenage daughter.
Writer and blogger, Jaqueline Dooley, shares what she has learned about grief and loss almost three years on from the loss of her 15-year-old daughter, Ana, to cancer.
Loving my child, after his death
A moving article in nytimes.com by Nora Wong, the executive director of the Norse Institute. She writes about carrying on after the death of her 22-year-old son Daniel and how she continues to love him and carry him with her through life.
How Jason Watkins learnt to live after the death of his daughter from sepsis
An interview from April 2018 with our patron, Jason Watkins talking about life after the death of his daughter Maude.
Falling pregnant after the death of my son saved me from grief.
Blogger Elena Davies talks about the experience pregnancy and motherhood after the death of her son.
Gill Mann, author and psychotherapist, shares extracts and reflections on her book 'A Song Inside'.
Gill writes as a mother about her grief and its impact on her life and family. She also writes as a psychotherapist, drawing on her professional knowledge to understand her own and others’ responses to her loss. Read the article here.
Please visit Gill Mann’s website for more details of the book and a beautifully poignant film of Sam.
Words of Hope for Those Who Have Lost Loved Ones
Author and bereaved parent Clare Mackintosh offers some words of hope and promises about what the future holds for those deep in new grief.
Michael Rosen's talks about what helped him after his son, Eddie's, death
Michael Rosen’s new book, ‘Getting Better’ explores some of the lowest parts of his life including his son’s death. In this extract in the Guardian he explores that way he dealt with the grief.
So I offer you what I did as a set of things to think about, ignore, adapt, change, or do what you want with. I hope they give you ideas for what you might want to do if you’re faced with loss or grief. Just that.
Photo credit: Pal Hansen The Observer
Can I forgive myself for my daughter’s death?
Jenni Thomas podcasts on losing a child
Guardian Interview: Jayson Greene: ‘Trauma is a rip in your understanding of the universe’
Interview with Jayson Greene in the Guardian author of Once More We Saw Stars published on 16 May 2019 by Hodder & Stoughton. The book is a memoir about life and grief after the loss of his young daughter in a freak accident in 2015.
When feeling ok feels wrong
Another amazing ‘What’s your grief?’ article talks about how grief and the continuing relationship with your child evolves over time.
What it Means to ‘Change Your Relationship With Grief’
An article from What’s Your Grief on the how everyone’s experience of grief is unique and how your relationship with it changes over time.
The Death of a Child. The Grief of the Parents: A Lifetime Journey
A document developed by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Health Resources and Services Administration, Maternal and Child Health Bureau with the National Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)/Infant Death Resource Center discussing how parents address and live with grief.
Grief is Love that Never Leaves
Faye Reynolds shares her story in the Guardian about her evolving grief, 40 years after the death of her son, Iestyn Charles Reynolds.
Lisa Marie Presley's emotional essay on grief after her son's suicide
On National Grief Awareness Day Lisa Marie Presley shared an essay about the heartbreaking loss of her son Benjamin and how she lived with the ensuing grief.
Rob Delaney: 'The Heaviest Pain in the World'
An extract from SLOW member, Rob Delaney’s new book, ‘A Heart that Works’. Rob describes feeling ‘the heaviest pain in the world’ when his son, Henry, died.
Physical and Psychological Effects of Grief
What the Death of a Child Does to Parents, Psychologically and Biologically
This article explores the neurological and biological changes, as well as the depression and destabilisation of the family, that may be experienced by those who are left behind after a child dies.
How does grief cause physical pain?
Words like “heartache”, “hurt” and “pain” are often used to describe emotional trauma. But people affected by grief often say they experience them as concrete physical sensations. An article b
When Grief Gets Physical: dealing with physical grief symptoms
Article from What’s Your Grief in July 2018 on the physical symptoms of grief, such as fatigue, forgetfulness, lack of focus and headaches, and how do deal with them.
What happens in the brain when we grieve?
What does grieving do in terms of the memory? This article from Newsweek explores what happens in the brain when we grieve and how Prince Harry’s recollections could have been affected by grief.
How to help bereaved parents
Parents Who Lost A Child Share The Most Helpful Things People Did For Them
Huffington Post article by Caroline Bologna.
From practical support to emotional comfort, here are some impactful ways to help a grieving parent.
SLOW member Rob Delaney talks to Russell Howard about grief and his beautiful son Henry
The lovely Rob Delaney was interviewed by Russell Howard about his grief and his beautiful memories of Henry as he approaches his one-year anniversary.
Rob talks about how bereavement groups can support parents that have lost a child and about how to talk to bereaved parents.
Friends who cross the road to avoid you because you’ve lost a child
Christine Lord’s son Andrew, died from Variant CJD ten years ago at age 24.
She talks here about how society struggles to confront the reality of parental loss.
Parents Who Lost A Child Share What They Wish More People Understood
Huffington Post article by Caroline Bologna.
Bereaved parents explain why time doesn’t heal this unthinkable form of loss, why platitudes aren’t helpful and other important lessons.
What should you say to someone who's lost their adult child?
Jane Wessman, whose son Billy died when he was aged 44, talks on Woman’s hour about how you can support a mother when her adult child dies.
What do you say to a friend who's lost a child? I should know by now.
“A parent who has lost a child has already endured the worst – nothing you can say would make it worse.”
Hadley Freeman with some advice on what to say, and not say, to your friend who is coping with grief.
Grief Roundtable - BBC Radio Oxford
Bereaved parents Gil, Maria and Kate talk frankly together about grief after the loss of their children, grieving at Christmas and what can help.
This is from a conversation hosted by BBC Radio Oxford in December 2023.
16 ways to talk to people who are grieving
Comedian Cairad Lloyd has spoken to hundreds of people for her award winning series Griefcast. She shares the lessons she has learned on how to talk to the bereaved in this Guardian article. Ilustration Paul Blow / The Guardian.
Siblings
SLOWsibs
SLOW supports children and young people after the death of their brother or sister through our SLOWsibs groups.
A moment that changed me - the death of my sister and the grief that followed
A moving account my Emma Dawson about the grief she experienced following the death of her younger sister, Lucy, from cancer at the age of 32.
Grieving the death of a sibling is often neglected
Siblings share their heart-breaking experience of loss as studies suggest the grief of losing a brother or sister is “disenfranchised”.
25 Children's Books That Explain Death And Grief To Kids
To aid parents when talking with their kids about death and grieving here is a list of 25 children’s books that tackle the subject.
George Shelley: 'The lights went out when I lost my sister'
In this BBC article, first published on 24 September 2018, the singer-songwriter opens up about how he coped with the death of his sister Harriet in a new BBC Three documentary
The death of a sibling: ‘It makes no sense and never will’
When the poet Joanne Limburg’s brother killed himself, she simply couldn’t accept it. Christina Patterson, whose sister also suddenly died, talks to Limburg about her book Small Pieces and finds out how she coped.
Read this article by Christina Patterson in the Guardian online
Siblings & Grief: 10 Things Everyone Should Know
An article by Dr. Christina Hibbert on the profound impact of sibling loss, based on the personal experience of losing two sisters, and what people should be aware of regarding sibling grief. Dr. Christina Hibbert is the author of This Is How We Grow, Who Am I Without You, and 8 Keys to Mental Health Through Exercise.
Parenting after the death of a child
Should Children Be Told When a Death Occurs?
This article by Dee Stern Psy.D., Psychology Today answers this question with an unequivocal ‘yes’ and goes on to discuss how adults can answer children’s questions with honesty when a death occurs.
Talking to Kids About Death and Grief: 10 Comprehensive Tips
There is no script when it comes to talking to your children – each child and every situation is unique. Here is a thoughtful article from What’s Your Grief with some considerations and tips on how to how to approach these important conversations with your kids
'Coco' and Day of the Dead rituals can help children, families deal with death and grief
Such movies and Día de los Muertos rituals honoring loved ones invite children and adults to approach the complex subject of death not with sadness or fear, but as a tribute to life itself, experts say.
How to help children understand death and grief, explained by an expert
Dr Shelley Gilbert, MBE, shares how you can support a child following the loss of someone close to them.
How To Talk To Children About Miscarriage and Stillbirth
A very helpful and sensitive article from What’s Your Grief on how to discuss miscarriage and stillbirth with your children.
EYFS Best Practice - All about… bereaved children
Talking about death with young children is necessary when there has been a bereavement. In the article from Nursery World, Anne O’Connor explains the best ways for adults to tackle this difficult subject with a focus on EYFS (Early years and foundation stage).
Talking to Kids About Death - Nine Tips
Helpful tips when explaining death to children of any age.
How to Talk to Your Child About Death
BBC Bitesize explain how we can explain bereavement to children and support them in their grief.
Couples and grief
How to salvage a marriage after the loss of a child
An article from July 2018 discussing how men and women differ in their experience of grief and how husbands and wives can work through their pain together.
How can a marriage survive the death of a child?
A parent’s loss: ‘Allow yourself to be happy, to smile, to celebrate and to remember’. Benji and Jackie Bennet explain how their marriage survived after the loss of their son Adam.
Tragically, I know the impact losing a child has on your marriage all too well
Father, Ben Pullen, talks about the different paths that he and his wife, Sarah, took in their grief following the death of their 11 year old son, Silas.
A Mighty Boy – A mother’s journey through grief by Sarah Pullen is now available.
The Hard Truth About Staying Married After Losing a Child
Child Bearing Loss
'Talking about our stillborn daughter helps us cope'
When their daughter Ottilie was stillborn, Katie Ingram and her husband Ben were saved by an extraordinary midwife. In this article in The Standard they pay tribute to their daughter, and call for better care for bereaved parents.
10 Things you need to know when someone's baby dies
In the light of the response on social media to the announcement about the loss of their son by Chrissy Teigen and John Legend, Rachel Lewis gives some advice on how to respond when someone’s baby dies.
Rachel is a respected voice in the baby-loss community and founder of Brave Mamas a support group for women grieving the loss of a child.
10 Things you need to know when someone's baby dies
In the light of the response on social media to the announcement about the loss of their son by Chrissy Teigen and John Legend, Rachel Lewis gives some advice on how to respond when someone’s baby dies.
Rachel is a respected voice in the baby-loss community and founder of Brave Mamas a support group for women grieving the loss of a child.
How I grieved for the much-loved daughter I lost before her birth
A personal account of loss and grief from the Guardian’s Devika Bhat.
Almost two years after giving birth to her baby at six months, Devika talks about this rarely discussed subject and the challenges it brings, including the trauma of giving birth.
‘In my head I was already a mum and then suddenly I wasn’t’
According to a new study, a third of women experience PTSD after losing a baby in early pregnancy.
Guardian readers describe their experience of the pain of miscarriage.
People Called Me 'Cruel' For Smiling As I Held My Dying Newborn
A personal account by Stacey Skrysak whose first born triplet, delivered at 22 weeks, died in her arms.
You can also find Stacey’s blog here where she writes about infertility, premature birth and child loss.
I am a mother without a baby
In the UK, an average of nine babies a day are stillborn.
BBC journalist Fiona Crack became pregnant with a baby girl, but her waters broke early and her daughter died.
This is her story of a year of grief and healing and of five extraordinary women who shared her experience.
My baby died. Please ask me his name
In this article Elle Wright, author of Ask Me His Name: Learning to Live and Laugh Again After the Loss of My Baby, talks about coping with life after the death of her son Teddy at three days old in 2016.
You can also hear Elle talking about her experience on Woman’s Hour (28.55)
Elle also writes a blog about learning to navigate life after loss.
Theory
What is the Continuing Bond Theory in Bereavement?
Dr Alejandra Vasquez explains the Continuing Bonds theory and how it’s possible to continue the bond with loved ones even after their death.
What's Your Grief explain Continuing Bonds
The amazing What’s Your Grief blog explains Continuing Bonds in four main points and why it’s a grief concept that the bereaved should care about.
Continuing Bonds in Practical terms
Dr Bill Webster explains a potted version of Continuing Bonds and how it manifests itself in grieving from a practical perspective.
Practical Advice
Practical help when someone dies
There are many practical matters to attend to when someone dies. Bereavement Advice Centre supports and advises people on what they need to do after a death.
Statutory Parental Bereavement Pay and Leave
A relatively new law “The Parental Bereavement (Pay and Leave) Act” entitles bereaved parents to take leave and be paid when a child dies from 24 weeks of pregnancy up until 18 years of age.
Child burial fees waived: What is the Children's Funeral Fund
A Children’s Funeral Fund has been established in England after Theresa May announced child burial fees were to be waived.
Families grieving the loss of a child through death or stillbirth are to be given up to £2,000 to help cover funeral costs, under a new government scheme.
For the full government guidelines read more here.
Other bereavement charities and organisations
At SLOW we recognise that some bereaved families may require additional support so we’ve put together a list of links to other UK bereavement charities and organisations
Grief Blogs & Podcasts
Bandwidth Conversations with Jason Watkins
In this episode, Jason talks with hoast, Katie Brewer, about his struggles at school, his time at RADA, how he builds his characters and the tragic loss of his daughter Maudie aged two and a half. He shares advice on the grieving process and information on the often undiagnosed disease that is sepsis.
What's Your Grief
A grief website and online community for grieving people and grief support
professionals honouring all types of loss and grief.
Men Do Talk Podcast
Men Do Talk podcast is a supportive space for fathers grieving the loss of a child or raising a child with a life-limiting condition or chronic illness. Guests share coping mechanisms and offer a supportive community to help dads navigate these challenges.
Travels With My Son
Charlotte Turner’s, blog about living, travelling, home making creating
alongside and inspired by the grief of losing her son, Stewie.